Today I got home to find a booklet from Starbucks in the mail, obviously an offer for gold card members because it has the same black background and gold foil coffee cup on it like my favorite card in my wallet ... so I was really excited to open it and even more excited to find three coupons for a FREE iced brewed coffee, a FREE iced caffe mocha, and a FREE caramel frappuccino. I was so happy I forgot about everything else for awhile and thought about how lucky I am and what a great life I have.

And then I realized later on how crazy it is that it takes free coffees to make me realize this.

What makes the whole situation ironic is that I paid $25 for the gold card in the first place. So it's probably only just starting to pay for itself after these coupons, since I always use the money I save with the card discount to tip the barista. I don't count the free wireless internet because I can get that anywhere on campus. So yeah. Apparently I only have this card because it's pretty and makes me feel special.

And because coupons for free coffee make me feel like I am leading a great, amazing life.

I feel slightly ridiculous all of a sudden.

Just thinking about how the best part of completing something, whether it's cleaning out my car, converting all my CDs to my ipod, rolling coins, running errands, writing papers, finishing a good book, etc., is not how I feel right when I complete it but when I look back on it later and think, oh wow, I actually finished that, and I forget how much time it actually took up because it's suddenly a couple of steps behind me and, distanced from it, I don't ever have to think about it again.

And then I consider that my entire life is comprised of a range of of seemingly important tasks that I list in my mind and focus my all on completing, only to put them behind me, like climbing a ladder while looking down so I don't realize there's nothing at the top til my hand doesn't reach anything. It's like playing Mahjong, matching up tiles at top speed just so you can turn over new ones because that's what the rules say you're supposed to do, and all you're left with at the end is an empty table.

There's got to be something more to life than this.

LOAD UP ON GUNS
AND BRING YOUR FRIENDS
IT'S FUN TO LOSE
AND TO PRETEND
SHE'S OVER-BORED
AND SELF-ASSURED
OH NO, I KNOW A DIRTY WORD

HELLO, HELLO, HELLO, HOW LOW

I'M WORSE AT WHAT I DO BEST
AND FOR THIS GIFT I FEEL BLESSED
OUR LITTLE GROUP HAS ALWAYS BEEN
AND ALWAYS WILL BE UNTIL THE END

HELLO, HELLO, HELLO, HOW LOW

WITH THE LIGHTS OUT IT'S LESS DANGEROUS
HERE WE ARE NOW
ENTERTAIN US
I FEEL STUPID AND CONTAGIOUS
HERE WE ARE NOW
ENTERTAIN US

YES

HELLO, HELLO

WITH THE LIGHTS OUT IT'S LESS DANGEROUS
HERE WE ARE NOW
ENTERTAIN US
I FEEL STUPID AND CONTAGIOUS
HERE WE ARE NOW
ENTERTAIN US
A MULATTO
AN ALBINO
A MOSQUITO
MY LIBIDO

YES
A DENIAL
A DENIAL

After a long week of being out all day every day doing something or other... it felt good to sleep in, eat a gigantic cinnamon bun with lemon frosting for breakfast, and drink Seville Orange coffee while watching old episodes of Friends on the DVR. Wearing my new AE sweatpants (rolled up, of course, given my shortness) and a gray tank top, with a messy ponytail and no makeup, I've spent the last 30 minutes or so doing the dishes, sorting laundry, wishing I didn't have to do either, and staring out the window at the backyard birdfeeder. I know I should be thinking about going to my sister's softball game, but I'm too lazy to get ready to go, even though Bagsai field is in close proximity to the Front St. Starbucks. And as for driving there ... I cringe every time I think about the dwindling amount of gas in my car's tank as its value continues to shoot skyward. It's so much cheaper for me to stay home and read trashy romance novels with another cup of coffee and our current supply of chocolate chip cookies ... maybe end up watching music videos on Youtube ... clean up my room so parts of the floor might miraculously be revealed ... no, even that sounds like too much work. I'm better off sitting here blogging for the rest of the day.

So today I almost went out for breakfast for the first time in my life. Unfortunately I didn't wake up until 8 so I went to pick up Alex(andra) at 9:30 (and got lost on the way -- navigating a traffic-less Riverside Drive enough to find Laurel St. is just too much for me). By that time neither of us were hungry so we went to the mall instead. And since it was early, I got an awesome parking spot right near the door. And we were practically the only people in the mall. It was pretty darn amazing.

Unfortunately, I had my credit card handy so the purchases got a little out of hand. I bought a gorgeous pair of peacock-feather earrings at Penney's, and a pair of painted green earrings (kind of an Indian-type design) to go with a floral draped-front top I got at Mandee. Okay, so here's what I hate about shopping at Mandee, despite the fact that I've had some really great finds there. The security devices there are gigantic and they're not only placed on every single store item, they're also put in places that make most inconvenient to check for fit. Like under one sleeve, or right in the middle of the back where your bra fastens, so all you see when you're trying on a shirt is a big round bulge where it should be flat, and the pulls it creates in the fabric so you just can't be sure if it fits well enough. So ... all in all, it remains to be seen whether I keep or return this shirt.

When we had lunch (Ruby Tuesdays) I had an embarassing moment where I was thinking so hard about nothing that when the waitress asked if we were ready to order I automatically answered yes before realizing that I did not, in fact, have any idea what I wanted to order. Now any normal person would have made something up on the spot, but I, being me, as it were, I had to say, "Oh, wait, actually, I still need a minute," and follow it up with a nervous little ha-ha "look everyone I'm laughing at myself" laugh just to complete the picture. Lucky for me, we were practically the only customers so the waitress wasn't pissed. But still. I wasn't exactly embarassed for myself but I had that awful little nagging feeling in the back of my mind, telling me that I should be embarassed for myself, which was almost as bad. The good that came out of this situation was that I actually took the time to examine the menu thoroughly to make up for it, and as a result I ended up ordering Avocado Quesadillas, which I have never had before, and which I have never thought of having before, which means that I killed two birds with one stone in one sitting. Yeah. They were really really good. I actually almost ate all of them, which is pretty much a record for me. I never eat more than half my food in restaurants.

I forgot my coupons for Victoria's Secret, which was pretty sad cause I really really really wanted to get one of those new BioFit 7-way bras, which are slightly amazing. But I guess it's probably better that I saved myself the $50. Or the $100 since I kinda found something else I wanted too. I can't shop in that store. I always end up practically emptying my savings account in one visit. And all I have to show for it is a little pink shopping bag. Oh my life.

So ... instead of going bankrupt, I did the rest of my shopping at American Eagle, where I actually bought my first pair of sweatpants ever. Well, not ever as in ever, more like ever as in like ever. As in, it's been more than 5 years, and maybe more than 8 years, and maybe as much as 10 years, since I've gotten a pair of sweatpants. So I am very proud of myself for that. Though not so much as I am of the fact that I saved 20% by asking if I could apply for an American Eagle credit card. And they gave me the 20% off even though I wasn't approved. Because when have I ever been approved for a credit card? But usually I apply anyway on the off chance that I will be for the first time in my life and I might end up saving a couple dollars. And this time, I didn't even have to be approved to save. This is like a milestone moment in my shopping career.

So anyways. After that we drove to BCC and it was really creepy cause Tichener Hall was pretty much abandoned. It was so silent it was eerie. I hurried as fast as I could and went in the empty communications department and sorted through a box of photography portfolios to try and find mine, but alas, it seems to be missing. Which is really annoying cause I drove all the way there. And there were like $40 worth of prints in it. From Staples, where they were playing the Shins while I waited, which makes them momentos of an important moment in history. On the positive side, I went to the Mechanical Building and cleaned out my locker, which had a mean letter on it from the Security lady saying that if everything wasn't cleaned out by the 20th it would be thrown in the garbage. That made me extremely satisfied to know that I was cleaning it out a day late. Because I've always delighted in anything that makes her job more difficult. Well not always. Just since she started making my life more difficult. Long story. Anyway. There wasn't really anything important in there anyway, just a pile of old papers, a stack of Supplemental Instruction brochures, and a box of French vocabulary flashcards. At least I got to keep the word-lock that I was using. Not that I'll probably ever use it for anything else, but it's still pretty cool.

So after BCC we went to the Cyber Cafe. I looked all over for evidence that they sell iced coffee, since I really really wanted a Peruvian Dark but it was way too hot out to drink it hot. Finally I asked and right when the girl said they did, I realized that right under the two lines I'd been reading over and over again on the drinks menu, were the words "Iced Coffee" and the list of prices. Yep. I'm pretty intelligent sometimes. But the iced coffee was really refreshing, and after that combined with the Harmony Cheesecake, I felt ready to face the world again.

Traffic was really bad and, having to make a left turn, I was prepared to wait for ages pulling out of the parking lot, but luckily some nice old chap decided to let me go ahead of him while he waited for a traffic light anyway. So I went on my merry way, waving at him in happy thanks, when all of a sudden everyone in the car yelled and there was a squeeling of brakes and I discovered with horror that some guy in a white car was speeding down the center turning lane and luckily I gathered my wits about me just in time to slam on the gas and get out of his way. It was a narrow escape. The idiot came within two feet of hitting my car, and then he had the nerve to be angry at me, when in fact he was the reckless driver in the situation at hand. Considerably shaken, we continued on our way. Later, driving down 434 on the way back to Vestal, in the right lane, I came upon a large truck/ moving van type thing, in the left lane, with its signal on as if it were about to switch lanes. It did not, however, switch lanes, despite the fact that I kept my distance from the Verizon store to the travel agency. So, assuming they had accidentally left the signal on, I prepared to pass them since we were going about 30 MPH. However, as soon as I gained on them they began to swerve into my lane. So I hung back again and waited, but they still continued to drive along in the left lane. Finally, fed up, I began to speed past them, and then they really started to swerve into my lane, so much that Amy started yelling in the passenger seat. So I slammed on my brakes and sure enough, they practically ran me over to get in the right lane. It was really weird. We had a good laugh over it though.

So we get home, tired and hungry from a long day of shopping and driving around the Southern Tier. When, tramping up the driveway with our arms full of shopping bags, what to we find? A water fountain blocking out way onto the porch. We were so exhausted that it took us a moment to realize that it was not, in fact, a water fountain, but a hose. Our tired eyes took in the facts of the situation: a) no one was home, b) the hose seemed to have been accidentally left on and then burst open, as was evidenced by a long split in the seam, and c) this seemed to have been going on for awhile, since the nearest window well was overflowing with water, and judging from the distant but steady dripping noise, said water was making its way into the basement.

The first thing I thought to do was bail out the water in the window well. Unfortunately the bird feeder is right above it, so I ended up with bucketfuls of equal parts water and sunflower seed shells (and probably bird crap too, which thankfully I didn't think about at the time). In a hurry, I dumped it right on the new flower bushes my mom had apparently been planting earlier that day, so that the perfectly spread mulch was now full of birdseed.

Sure that that would be the first thing she'd freak out about upon her homecoming, I hurried inside to find that the half of the cellar closest to the window was covered in about an inch of water. Of course, this also happened to be the side of the basement in which all the cardboard boxes were stacked. So not only did I have to spend the next hour mopping up the flood scene, we also had to move all the floor-to-ceiling boxes and empty the bottom ones to survey the damage within the soggy cardboard.

All in all, it was not a fun ending to the day. The only good side of it is that I did not, in fact, get blamed. Which is a definite first.

So yesterday afternoon Alex came over and we walked to the corner ice cream store (I think it's called Lickety Split but I'm not entirely sure so I'm not going to call it that for certain). Anyway, on the way there I nearly stepped on a dead baby bird on the sidewalk. It was so sad. It was completely bald with a wrinkled eyelids (at least its eyes were shut -- there is nothing I hate more than seeing dead eyes) and tiny little wings and it was all curled up on its tummy like a baby only it was really really dead looking and its skin was a sickening gray-pink color. I yelped and jumped over it and was really horrified, wondering where it had come from, whether it had just fallen out of its nest or been killed and left there by a cat or something. And then I wondered what would happen to it now, if someone would clean it up or if a cat or dog would eat it or if it would just lie there and rot or if someone else would unsuspectingly step on it like I almost did. But that's beside the point. The point is (wasn't, but it can be) that it may have been a bad omen for what was to come.

When we arrived at the ice cream store, we took forever deciding what to get. Finally we ordered and the girl gave us our ice creams and we went to pay and ... we discovered there is tax on ice cream.

Yes, in other words, we didn't have enough.

And I can tell you, being $0.30 short on ice cream you've already started eating is not a comfortable experience. Especially when the girl just stares at you like you're an idiot. At least she took pity on us and just let us go. Cause I was starting to think I'd have to give her my cell phone as an investment (or whatever that's called) while I ran back home to get the thirty cents.

Regardless, I felt like I was eating stolen ice cream the whole way home. I have resolved to take an extra 30 cents next time I go there.

So just a few minutes ago I was sitting in my sister's room drinking coffee while she wandered around putting away clothes and art supplies and whatever else was randomly lying around. While she was hanging up shirts in her walk-in closet she started singing something like, "love is a battlefield, you better get your armor on," and I commented that whoever wrote that song wasn't very original. She argued that it was a brilliant song (I have never heard it so I have no idea what she was talking about anyway) and I said it couldn't be since the lyrics are the most important part of a song and if they're not original who would bother listening to it? She snorted through her nose and remarked that I shouldn't be talking since "All your favorite songs have random poets in them that no one has ever heard of." I was really confused and asked her to name one since I had no idea what she was talking about. "You know," she replied, "like that one about some guy, Oscar Wilde." I laughed so hard I nearly had coffee come out my nose. "Oscar Wilde is a playwright," I said, "And pretty much everyone has heard of him." "No they haven't," she insisted. "Um, yes they have -- even Poppy knows who he is," I pointed out. "Well that's because he probably had to study him in school." "Exactly," I said, "Because lots of people have to study Oscar Wilde in school, which is why they all know who he is!" She rolled her eyes. "Um, no. They forget. You learn this stuff and then you forget cause you never use it and who really cares. No one remembers what the capitols are of every state, do they? That's why they have that show, Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader? Because no one really knows all that useless stuff anymore." I nearly died laughing. I'm not sure if it was because of what she said or the obnoxiously sarcastic tone of voice she said it in. Amy can be pretty stubborn sometimes.

A Valediction Forbidding Mourning
Adrienne Rich

My swirling wants. Your frozen lips.
The grammar turned and attacked me.
Themes, written under duress.
Emptiness of the notations.

They gave me a drug that slowed the healing of wounds.

I want you to see this before I leave:
the experience of repetition as death
the failure of criticism to locate the pain
the poster in the bus that said:
my bleeding is under control

A red plant in a cemetary of plastic wreaths.

A last attempt: the language is a dialect called metaphor.
These images go unglossed: hair, glacier, flashlight.
When I think of a landscape I am thinking of a time.
When I talk of taking a trip I mean forever.
I could say: those mountains have a meaning
but further than that I could not say.

To do something very common, in my own way.

So I watched P.S. I Love You again tonight and it gave me a brilliant idea. I'm going to buy shoes off the clearance rack and go crazy decorating them with ribbons and buttons and whatever I find lying around. It'll be fun.

Katie Hogan

Professor Halligan

ENG-220-08

1 May 2009

Inquiries from Contemporary Ethical Controversies

In the academic environment, college and university professors must partake in ethical decision-making on a daily basis. In addition to more minor decisions – such as whether or not to use outdated material in the classroom, curve exam grades, provide opportunities for extra credit, etc – they are often faced with decisions that have much more substantial ethical implications. Sometimes, their decisions may effect not only the academic wellbeing of their students, but also their student’s personal lives. In this paper, I will examine the question of whether or not it is morally acceptable for a faculty member to establish a romantic relationship with the parent of a student. I take the position that this is unethical both professionally and in a personal sense (with regards to the moral ideals that ought to exist within any social interaction). It goes against the professor’s obligations, undermines the professional and personal ideals (of the institution as well as the student-faculty relationship), and has negative consequences that are potentially damaging to the student and everyone involved. All in all, this type of behavior completely denies the ethical principles which should be considered in college and university teaching, not to mention the respect for persons that ought to shape anyone’s decision in such a situation.

In a personal interview, classmates Rebecca Goodrich and Samantha Messina initially expressed the opinion that although this type of behavior in a faculty member may not necessarily be immoral, it is certainly “weird and immature.” Yet the reason it is seen as “immature” is related to the power balance of the situation, which is precisely what makes it so utterly inappropriate. The professor is supposed to be in the power position of the student-professor relationship; he or she is the one assigned responsibility for the academic setting and to violate that dependability, to step out of the assigned role, is to shirk responsibility and run away from professional duty as if one is a mere child (unable to consider moral ideals, obligations, and consequences) rather than a thinking adult.

In a situation like this, the faculty member makes a shift from occupying a professional role to a personal role. The boundaries between personal and professional roles can be envisioned using the analogy of the “lines on the road” model, where the academic setting is imagined to be a multiple lane highway, with the lines representing the various dimensions of the educator’s position as classroom instructor, advisor, mentor, etc. as well as the possibility of involvement with the student’s personal life (for example, establishing a personal friendship with a student). The faculty member should “make relatively clear transitions between the various dimensions of the job: look carefully in all directions, signal your intention to change lanes, and so on” (Ashby 82). It is common sense not to drive on the line down the middle of two lanes – a driver must choose one lane or the other and make it clear which side of the road he or she is on. Ashby points out that “every relationship involves the dynamics of power,” and, ideally, “as monitor of the relationship the [professor] points out changes in roles and context, and also pays attention to moments of confusion or discomfort as they may arise either in the professor or in the student. At these moments it is the responsibility of the professor to engage in an open conversation with the student about that confusion or discomfort; we need to guard against our tendencies to ignore or deny the confusion or discomfort we detect in a student or in ourselves” (83).

Whether or not the student is comfortable with and/or accepting of the professor dating his or her parent, this type of situation puts everyone involved in an awkward position. Most importantly, it creates a dual relationship (meaning that the student and the professor have more than one kind of relationship between them). Dual relationships, according to the Society for Teaching and Learning in Higher Education, should, as a general rule, be avoided:

“To avoid conflict of interest, a teacher does not enter into dual-role relationships with students that are likely to detract from student development or lead to actual or perceived favoritism on the part of the teacher” (Murray 60).

Actual or perceived favoritism is a very real concern in a situation like this. The appearance (or real existence) of conflict of interest can not only upset the student’s classmates, but also cause the student herself or himself to feel as if his or her grades are biased (either positively or negatively), that he or she is being granted special attention by the professor merely as the child of the professor’s significant other (or has been a successful student only because he or she is thought of by the professor as a means to an end), or on the other hand, is being purposely avoided by the professor so as to avoid such an appearance or to avoid an uncomfortable discussion or unpleasant encounter. The student may also feel that his or her classmates have turned against him or her in suspicion of conflict of interest, and may undervalue work he or she has done for the professor’s course(s) and feel that the assigned grade is not genuine. The student may look back on introductions or recommendations from this professor, and feel as if he or she has merely been playing the role of a pawn in the game of the professor. Anything he or she has achieved in relation to this professor will appear to have no inherent value. Self-doubt and loss of academic ambition are very real dangers in this type of situation, and for a professor to cause this is plainly a violation of his or her position within the academic institution. These many possibilities, whether real or perceived, serve to illustrate the delicate balance of power that is easily upset by a decision as important as being involved with a student’s parent.

This type of situation creates the same risks to the professional relationship as does a close friendship or even a sexual relationship between the student and the faculty member. In regards to student-faculty friendships (also a dual-role relationship), Ashby notes, “we are primarily concerned here about whose needs are being served. In a personal friendship, there is a mutuality of needs. In a professional relationship, the relationship exists so that the professional can meet the needs of the person being served by the professional” (qtd. on 86) and “to us it seems a territory ripe with confusion, misunderstanding, and potential disasters” (86). Similar problems hold true, of course, with sexual relationships between students and faculty. The American Association of University Professors has a statement on “Consensual Relations Between Faculty and Students” which indicates “In their relationships with students, faculty are expected to be aware of their professional responsibilities and avoid apparent or actual conflict of interest, favoritism, or bias” (qtd. in Ashby 87). “Such relationships – because of the power differential inherent in the professional-client relationship – constitute significant violations of professional ethics” (87). I bring up the issue here of faculty-student relationships because, in many ways, they present the same problems as does a relationship between a faculty member and a students’ parent. If these types of dual relationships are discouraged, why would the situation of a faculty member dating a student’s parent not also be frowned upon? Surely by posing the same risks to the student’s academic well-being, they must be equally unethical.

There are other reasons why is this such a violation of professional ethics. In a personal interview, classmate Rebecca Goodrich pointed out that the professor “is not supposed to cross that line … especially due to confidentiality.” Here, she is referencing the confidentiality agreement installed by the institution. In Ethical Principles for Teaching, Murray et. al states that:

Student grades, attendance records, and private communications are treated as confidential materials and are released only with student consent, for legitimate academic purposes … This principle suggests that students are entitled to the same level of confidentiality in their relationship with teachers as would exist in a lawyer-client or doctor-patient relationship. Violation of confidentiality in the teacher-student relationship can cause students to distrust teachers and to show decreased academic motivation. (61)

The Employee Information book at Broome Community College asserts:

Broome County Charter and Code Article, Code of Ethics, Section 19-3 Standards of Conduct prohibits employees from disclosing confidential information acquired in the course of employment or for using such information to further personal interest. The Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act of 1974 (Buckley Amendment) establishes specific rights for students and/or their parents and prevents the release of certain information without the written consent of the student. (4-5)

A faculty member in a relationship with a student’s parent could be expected to share confidential information with that student’s parent (either intentionally or unthinkingly). In this position, it would be very difficult (or nearly impossible) not to. Whether or not the professor does, the student would reasonably feel that his or her confidentiality was being threatened. But confidentiality is often an ambiguous abstraction. What is a violation of student-faculty confidentiality is difficult to define. Certainly it is prohibited for a professor to discuss – or even mention in passing – a student’s grade or GPA, or what classes the student has attended or withdrawn from. But confidentiality does not necessarily end there. Even for a straight-A student with a 4.0 GPA, more strict confidentiality is often an important consideration. There are many reasons for this, and in every case the student’s personal feelings and relationship with his or her family will be the deciding factor. Nevertheless, the consequences of breaking this confidentiality (even unintentionally) must always be considered. For example, for many students, hovering, overly-involved, and demanding parents make it seem essential to them that their classes never be discussed at home. Even when the student has nothing to hide, he or she does not want to be hounded for information, reminded to do homework, or constantly offered unwanted advice – all unhealthy contributions that often lead to bad grades and overall disinterest. In addition, many students avoid unnecessary stress by keeping their family lives entirely separate from life at school – for some, college can actually become an escape, were the student can abandon all his or her extra psychological baggage that was loaded on by the parent. In many cases the separation of home and school as important and essential to the preservation of peace and academic excellence as the separation of church and state is to a democracy. For a professor to be suddenly discussing the college goings-on with such a student’s family presents many problems for the student. Whether or not the information a faculty member might share with the parent is of any real importance, or anything to do with the student in question, is not always the issue – what matters more is sometimes the fact that the student’s academic life is being discussed at all. Suddenly, college seems like a branch of the student’s personal life, rather than a separate life he or she may escape to. The type of information the professor may share with a student’s parent is also a concern, even if it has nothing to do with the student in question. What student wants his or her family to be caught up in the university gossip, especially when it comes from such an obviously biased source? Untrue or exaggerated gossip about other faculty members may make the student uncomfortable and is potentially damaging to his or her academic future. There are many, many cases to take into account when considering the moral implications of this situation and its consequences, but for the purpose of this paper, I will stop here and leave the rest to personal reflection.

In a broader sense, the situation of a professor establishing a relationship with a student’s parent is essentially prohibited by more than one moral obligation (restrictions on behavior). Most critical is what Ruggiero refers to as “professional obligations,” since all academic institutions, like most professional organizations, “have detailed codes of conduct that specify the obligations members are expected to honor” (97). For example, the American Association of University Professors Statement on Professional Ethics requires that:

Professors demonstrate respect for students as individuals and adhere to their proper roles as intellectual guides and counselors. Professors make every reasonable effort to foster honest academic conduct and to ensure that their evaluations of students reflect each student’s true merit. They respect the confidential nature of the relationship between professor and student. They avoid any exploitation, harassment, or discriminatory treatment of students.

As a connotation to this rule, the University of California’s Faculty Code of Conduct states that “The integrity of the faculty-student relationship is the foundation of the University’s educational mission. This relationship vests considerable trust in the faculty member, who, in turn, bears authority and accountability as mentor, educator, and evaluator.” This statement is intended to prohibit sexual relationships between students and faculty members, but it is obvious that it’s writers would discourage relationships between faculty members and the parents of students, for the very same reasons. In a 2001 study on student and professors’ views on the ethics of faculty behavior, both students and professors thought becoming sexually involved with a student was unquestionably unethical (Korschgen and Morgan). The same sample also considered unethical “telling colleagues a confidential disclosure told to you by a student,” and “allowing a student’s ‘likability’ to influence your grading,” both of which become significantly more likely when the faculty member is seeing the student’s parent. In a 2006 study on business students’ ethical evaluations of faculty misconduct, not only did students view sexual involvement with a student as unethical (even after the course was completed and the grades filed, signifying that there is something more at risk here than classroom bias), but they also indicated that “beginning an ongoing friendship with an undergraduate student” and even “hugging undergraduate students” should be considered inappropriate familiarity with students (Kidwell and Valentine 293). Therefore, it would seem that the familiarity caused by romantic involvement with a students’ parent, whether or not the student and the professor accept this as a positive situation, is entirely inappropriate.

In addition to the obligations a professor would not be upholding by becoming romantically involved with a student’s parent, this behavior goes against several moral ideals. The ideal of justice, for example, “opposes ‘playing favorites’ and giving unfair advantage to one person or group” (Ruggiero 107). Temperance (or lack thereof) also comes into play here; Ruggiero explains that “the temperate person … is the one who exercises control over his or her desires and therefore escapes domination by them” (107). The ideal of honesty commands that the faculty member not lie to or conceal the truth from the student in question or from other faculty members (108), which is likely to occur in a situation like this from the knowledge that the professor is making an unethical decision and from fear that he might be judged. Finally, though certainly not the least of the ideals, is compassion. If the professor has compassion, he will understand the students’ difficulties in being a part of this situation, and do his best to alleviate the student’s emotional discomfort (108). This could, of course, mean thinking through the consequences and making a different choice to begin with; but it could also mean that the professor does his best to end the relationship and apologize to anyone who was negatively affected by this unprofessional, unethical conduct. After all, the underlying principle of ethics is respect for persons, a virtue that the professor clearly would not be acting on in this case.

Works Cited

Ashby, Homer U. Jr. and Carol Hepokoski. “ ‘Can We Talk?’: Boundary Crossing and

Sexual Misconduct in Seminary Teaching.” Teaching Theology and Religion, vol. 5 no. 2, 80-89. 2002.

Auster, Carol J. and Jonathan Knight. “Faculty Conduct: An Empirical Study of Ethical

Activism.” The Journal of Higher Education, Vol. 70, No. 2 (March/April 1999). Ohio State University Press.

“Employee Information.” Broome Community College, 2008-2009.

“Faculty Code of Conduct.” University of California. 26 April 2008

.

Fisch, Linc. (ed.) Ethical Dimensions of College and University Teaching. New

Directions for Teaching and Learning, No. 66. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, Summer 1996.

Goodrich, Rebecca. Personal Interview. ENG-220-08, March 2008.

Kidwell, Roland E. and Sean Valentine. “Business Students’ Ethical Evaluations of

Faculty Misconduct.” Quality Assurance in Education, Vol. 16 No 3, 287-300. 2008.

Korschgen, Ann J. and Betsy Levonian Morgan. “The Ethics of Faculty Behavior:

Students’ and Professors’ Views.” College Student Journal, Sept 2001, Vol 35 Issue 3, 418.

Messina, Samantha. Personal Interview. ENG-220-08, March 2008.

Ruggiero, Vincent Ryan. Thinking Critically About Ethical Issues. New York: McGraw

Hill, 2004.

“Statement on Professional Ethics.” The American Association of University Professors.

26 April 2009

.

So there's been all this controversy lately surrounding Miss California Carrie Prejean and her reply to a question about the legalization of gay marriage. I wasn't sure at first what was true and what was exaggeration since I hadn't watched the pageant, so I didn't want to say anything about it. But today I watched the video clip on YouTube and I have a better idea now of what is going on. Mega-blogger Perez Hilton (who I'd never actually heard of before, but who I now think is obnoxious, overly flamboyant, and egotistic), as a judge on the panel, asked Miss California whether she thought all States in the USA should be following suit and legalizing gay marriage. Her reply was that she thought it was great that Americans are able to choose between gay marriage and "opposite" marriage, but that in her country they believe in "opposite" marriage and that her personal beliefs (she added that she hoped not to offend anyone) are that a marriage should be between a man and a woman.

Now, I'm not entirely sure what my views are on gay marriage (which isn't surprising since I'm not entirely sure what my views are on marriage in general). I think everyone should have the right to spend their life with whomever they love -- that's one of the basic rights we have as humans and one that cannot be denied. And I do not think the government should have anything to do with it. But at the same time I don't know any of the legal aspects of marriage so I will keep my thoughts to myself for now. What's more important is the fact that this is a POLITICAL question and has no place in a beauty pageant. Prejean was put on the spot to answer a question that should have nothing whatsoever to do with the Miss USA competition. Furthermore, she was asked for her opinion, so what did everyone expect her to answer? She gave her opinion because she was specifically asked for it, she didn't go around picketing against gay marriage or say anything about the matter until she was put on the spot. In addition, she added that she hoped not to offend anyone with her answer. Of course, the more prudent thing to do would to have not given an opinion on such a controversial issue, but I don't know if the contest rules allow for that and either way she had no time to think ahead and consider this.

I'm not making special allowances for Prejean. I think she could have handled the situation differently. I laughed at her when she used the term "opposite" marriage, it may just have been her overdone makeup and the beauty pageant setting but I thought she seemed really uneducated, even though I know she must be smart to have gotten this far. I don't think she should have become a spokesperson for anti-gay marriage activists, I think she should have abandoned the issue altogether. Like I said, there's a place for opinions and politics have nothing to do with a beauty pageant. But at the same time, this is a young 21-year-old woman who is being vilified and verbally abused and attacked through the media for expressing her opinion. Homosexuals who want their opinions and lifestyle to be accepted and respected are not granting the same acceptance and respect to Prejean for hers.

When will people learn to tolerate and respect the opinions of others? Why do they all feel so threatened when one person dares to speak up for their thoughts? I'm so disgusted with people sometimes.

Right now I'm in the library study room (air-conditioned, yay!) drinking a chilled Starbucks dark chocolate raspberry mocha frappuccino. I bought them at the Giant last week on a whim while looking for honey in the coffee isle (what, it made sense at the time). It's been awhile since the last time I had one -- I think they used to have dark chocolate peppermint the first winter I went to school at BCC ... so I guess it was probably the winter of '07. Of course they were exorbitantly overpriced then, it being the BCC food court. Probably like $5 for just one of these little 9-oz glass bottles. I wouldn't be surprised. But it's not that expensive to buy a 4-pack at the grocery store, so I figured what the hey, I may as well splurge on my last week of school. Its a good energy builder for my early morning classes.

Other than that, I'm trying to decide which questions to choose for the Philosophy of Ethics take-home exam essays. I'm considering writing about how a Buddhist might critique Kantian ethics or Aristotle's Nichomachean ethics, because that sounded like an interesting topic. But I'm not sure where to start. I don't really have that firm a grasp on what a Buddhist would think of either of these. Even though I am more interested in Buddhism than any of the other viewpoints we studied in ethics class. It's strange how life works out sometimes isn't it? Anyway. One thing I thought of is how Aristotle thought everyone should be as well-rounded in their virtues as possible and if I remember right, he valued courage and I think he might have supported the killing of others (like in warfare) for reasons he might see as ethical (again this could be wrong but I'm just brainstorming from a vague memory here) ... and a Buddhist is not supposed to kill or allow the killing of anyone ... so that could be one aspect I could write about. Not quite sure where I'm going with this .... I guess I'd better go look into it .....

Yeah. Nothing like brainstorming while blogging. Welcome to finals week in my lazy, unmotivated, procrastinating mind.

As of today, there are only (drumroll) six weekdays left to the semester, and I have only one exam (French) on the Monday of finals week. I can't believe my last semester at BCC is already almost over! It's been almost 3 years since the very first class I took here (ENG 110) when I was 15 ... it seems like forever ago. At the beginning of this semester it seemed like it all went so fast, but now -- maybe because of how busy I've been all semester, working 3 jobs and struggling to finish my homework every day -- it seems like it's about time and I just want to be finished already. It's going to be weird at first, after being so stressed out all semester between work and school and life in general, to suddenly have free time again. I'm not sure I'll know what to do with it. To keep myself from becoming a workaholic, I'm going to make a list of things I want to do over the summer. Hopefully it will be somewhat more successful than my spring break list.

To Do Over Summer 2009

• try to write a blog entry every day
  
• finish reading Atlas Shrugged
• buy a digital SLR camera (the Nikon D40?)
• actually read my digital photography textbook from this semester ...
• go to studio hours every week for ceramics, and try out the Clayground studio
• take a kickboxing class
• write
• go on a roadtrip
• visit relatives in Indiana before they move to Louisville
  
• go on a picnic
• go to a spa
• meet up with all the friends I haven't seen in awhile
• visit my great grandmother once a week
• make homemade ice cream and smoothies
• pick up archery again
• try out nail tips
• get my nose pierced
• try escargot
• go to Tioga Downs
• visit the I Love Lucy museum
• visit the Metropolitan Museum of Art
• go to the midnight showing of the new Harry Potter movie
• watch Silence of the Lambs
• watch Silk
• watch Amelie
• watch a bazillion other movies I haven't seen
• listen to some new indie music and get a lot of new CDs no one else has ever heard of
• go skinny dipping
• go to a restaurant and order dessert first
• go camping
• read more about Buddhism
• have Nadia teach me how to make Indian foods
• do my family genealogy
• go to the First Friday art walk
  
• have campfires
• go to a concert at the Cyber Cafe
  
• visit my grandma in Sidney
• get some new sheet music for the piano
• go to the opera
• clean out my hard drive / make a backup of important files
• clean out closet and take clothing to consignment shop
• redecorate shoes
• make a collage
• put together a book of poems
• get a new job
• clean my car
• get an ebay sellers account
• sell unwanted textbooks
• sell other unwanted books to make room for new ones
• take part in BookCrossing
  
• make homemade smoothies
  

It's easier to copy & paste this than it is to go on a rant of my own. Suffice it to say that I am still in awe over the stupidity and gullibility this "pandemic" has brought out in the world's population.

EPIDEMIC OF THE ABSURD

Swine Flu Fears Lead to the Ludicrous

The world is taking the danger represented by swine flu seriously with measures in place across the globe to prevent the spread of the virus. Some efforts, though, have bordered on the absurd.

Report ®
Leather Gladiator Wedge

These are my favorites, hands down. All of the color shades are rich, classic, and earthy. The leather gives it the perfect classical look and these would go with a lot of different outfits -- dress them up or dress them down. Besides, what girl doesn't want to "unleash her inner Greek goddess"?



















Luichiny ®
Ankle Wrap Sandal

I normally don't go for this flat of a sandal -- doesn't look comfortable to me -- but I love love love the look of the ankle wrap. It's really natural and stylish, and I don't think I've ever seen anything like it before. It almost seems like a spin on the ancient greek/roman style that the gladiators have brought into this season, but it's very original and definitely makes a statement.

















Dani Black ®
Fringe Sandal

The carved heel on this sandal is what really makes it stand out from the crowd. The fringe looks a little cheap but with the right outfit, this could be really stunning. Only problem is that the shoes look better when you're walking away than when you're making an entrance ...




















Colin Stuart ®
Chandelier Thong Sandal

I love the middle-eastern influence used here. Even though these don't have a heel to speak of, the jewels make it a major focal point and they'd be the perfect accessory to a lot of summer outfits. I especially like the chain closure, it makes the whole thing look more genuine.




















Two Lips ®
Zig-zag Wedge Sandal

If there's one thing that always catches my attention when it comes to shoes, its ones with crazy artistic heels. I love the zig-zag shape of these and the drama it lends to the whole shoe. The gold ankle-wrap isn't bad either, though in my opinion the rhinestone embellishment could probably have been omitted. Otherwise, a great, dramatic shoe for really special occasions.


















Miss Sixty ®
Tye-Dyed Wedge Sandal

I love the cut-out look on this heel. Also, the twisted tye-dyed cloth makes the shoe both bold and feminine, and this could go with a lot of different styles.

Last night at Kohl's a customer was signing the PIN pad to complete his transaction. You know the type: middle aged, average height, face with wrinkles that can't be interpreted as either laugh or frown lines, hair that's not any particular color but isn't exactly gray, eyes the same color as his hair, clothes no one would ever notice or remark on, normal sized feet even ... all in all, someone who looks like he's spent his whole life following the crowd -- no, wait, scratch that -- following the example of the average of all Upstate New York middle class middle age middle income businessmen. Anyway. He suddenly hesitated in the middle of signing his name, as if something had suddenly occurred to him and he couldn't remember if it was a memory of something that had once happened or a reminder or something he was supposed to do. Then he looked at me for the first time in the last 10 minutes he had been at the counter and inquired, "How often do they clean these things?" Surprised, I answered that I had no idea. He gave the PIN pad an almost-frown (his face actually remained more or less expressionless, but I imagined that he was probably giving it a sort of mental frown at least) and then asserted in an authoritative tone "They ought to be cleaned on a regular basis, what with everything that's been going on lately." I was so confused as to why anyone would actually say that, that I didn't even laugh about it until after he'd left (thankfully).

People are ridiculous. Another POS associate told me about some lady who came through her line with a packet of hand wipes and wiped down the counter before she put her clothes on it and the PIN pad before she signed. I really don't get why they are so worried about the swine flu and all, it's just another version of the flu, no reason for mass hysteria. And if they're going to get it, the chances are pretty slim that it's going to be from the PIN pad at Kohl's. We need a serious reality check people ....

Last night around 1 AM, I was really really tired but couldn't sleep ... so instead I ended up filling out one of those random surveys on facebook. I didn't actually publish it, but I saved the draft, and just now I thought it would be really funny to fill it out again and see how different my answers are. It's perfect because they'll be almost exactly 12 hours apart :) Just another one of the random experiments I do to amuse myself when I don't feel like doing homework ....

One
Approximately 12:30 AM

First thing you wash in the shower?
My hair. So the shower is full of the smell of Cloud 9 shampoo :)

What color is your favorite hoodie?
According to Aeropostale, the color is "oatmeal". Looks off-white to me.

Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
N/A

Do you plan outfits?
...sometimes

How are you feeling RIGHT now?
Too tired to do anything but procrastinate. Is it weird that I even procrastinate sleeping, when there's nothing more that I want to do right now? I think so.

Whats the closest thing to you that's red?
See the answer to question #1

Tell me about the last dream you remember having?
I generally don't remember my dreams. Deja vu is a possible exception.

Did you meet anybody new today?
...no. Unless you count the cashier at Jo-Ann Fabrics.

What are you craving right now?
Sleep.

Do you floss?
Only the teeth I want to keep. (Too bad you can't see my dentistry advertisement grin.)

What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
Those little adoption certificates that come with cabbage patch dolls.

Are you too emotional?
I am too emotional internally, and not emotional enough externally.

Have you ever counted to 1,000?
When I was little I tried to count sheep to help me sleep, because it was always in cartoons and on Sesame Street and all. It always had the opposite effect because I concentrated on it so much. I got way past 1,000.

Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
There are few things more painful than biting into ice cream.

Do you like your hair?
See the answer to question #6

Do you like yourself?
What's not to like?? haha jk

Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
Depends on the restaurant and whether or not he's paying.

What are you listening to right now?
The rain and the washing machine.

Are your parents strict?
Haha do I even have to answer this?

Would you go sky diving?
HELL YEAH!!!

Do you like cottage cheese?
HELL NO!!!

Have you ever met a celebrity?
I have met a lot of authors but that's pretty much it. And Constantine Maroulis winked at me once. lmao

Do you rent movies often?
The Red Box in Greene got me through the winter.

Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in?
Some glittery leaf pendants I just bought at AC Moore

How many countries have you visited?
Does crossing over to the Canadian side of Niagara Falls count?

Have you made a prank phone call?
Hasn't everyone?

Ever been on a train?
Yes. At Steamtown. One of the many benefits to being homeschooled. Ah, the good old days ....

Brown or white eggs?
I usually eat white eggs but I've always wanted to try brown ones cause they look healthier. This is going on my list of things to do before I die.

Do you have a cell-phone?
Um. Where have you been?

Do you use chap stick?
I carry my Burt's Bees everywhere.

Do you own a gun?
Nope. I'm a bow-and-arrow type girl, through and through.

Can you use chop sticks?
You're laughing at me. I can tell.

Who are you going to be with tonight?
Ayn Rand. hahaha

Are you too forgiving?
That's what they tell me.

Ever been in love?
Oh sure.

What is your best friend doing tomorrow?
Working.

Ever have cream puffs?
If I did I don't remember it.

Last time you cried?
Um .... idk ... last Friday?

What was the last question you asked?
"How can she marry Sam less than eight weeks after Jim died???" (in an incredulous tone of voice).

Favorite time of the year?
Autumn!!!!

Do you have any tattoos?
Eeew. No. I don't mind needles but I hate anything permanent.

Are you sarcastic?
No, really?

Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
Unfortunately no. But I really want to! Thanks for reminding me

Ever walked into a wall?
Ahem. Have you ever walked into a wall?

Favorite color?
Green. The thing about growing up in Greene is that I always forget and spell green with an e. Sad but true.

Have you ever slapped someone?
Haha yes.

Is your hair curly?
No :(

What was the last CD you bought?
Ordinary Riches by Company of Thieves

Do looks matter?
Depends. Are we talking about interior decorating or food?

Could you ever forgive a cheater?
Accept, yes. Forgive, no.

Is your phone bill sky high?
I hope not.

Do you like your life right now?
YES!!!!

Do you sleep with the TV on?
No. I'm pretty sure that's impossible.

Can you handle the truth?
Probably not, but go ahead, shoot.

Do you have good vision?
No. I'd say I'm blind as a bad but bats aren't blind. Then again I'm not either so it would probably make sense. In the wrong sense of making sense.

Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
I truly hate only one person in this world. Generally I don't dislike anyone.

How often do you talk on the phone?
Every day.

What are you wearing?
Nothing.

What is your favorite animal?
Songbirds. Especially bluebirds.

Where was your default picture taken at?
Here.

Do you have a job?
I have 3. Please don't remind me.

What was the most recent thing you bought?
Beading supplies.


Two
Approximately 12:30 PM

First thing you wash in the shower?
I always shampoo first. It makes the most sense.

What color is your favorite hoodie?
"Oatmeal" with pink lettering

Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
....

Do you plan outfits?
What kind of a question is this? Of course I plan outfits every once in a while. Usually I don't have time though. And who wants to know this?

How are you feeling RIGHT now?
Lazy, a little sad, and a little hungry even though I just stuffed myself with thin mints and orange coffee.

Whats the closest thing to you that's red?
Since I no longer consider my hair to be red, it has to be a tie between the red shoes, the red bra, and the red scarf that are all in a pile on the chair next to me. What? I don't have time to put everything in the closet. That takes extreme organizational skills!

Tell me about the last dream you remember having?
Something about failing French class. And I'm still not motivated enough to study Chapitre 10. If that was the gods trying to give me a warning, maybe they should start helping the next door neighbor mow the lawn, it might be a little more productive.

Did you meet anybody new today?
Not yet. Lucky for them.

What are you craving right now?
A chocolate meltdown cake.

Do you floss?
Um yes ... about that ....

What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
The Devil's Dictionary quote:
CABBAGE, n. A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.

Are you too emotional?
I often get in trouble for not being emotional enough. But I think I'm just one of those people who feels too much to show it.

Have you ever counted to 1,000?
Haha yes.

Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
It hurts to even watch people bite into ice cream :(

Do you like your hair?
I guess so.

Do you like yourself?
I guess so. But I probably wouldn't if I were someone else.

Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
I guess so. But it would be a little awkward.

What are you listening to right now?
The neighbor mowing her lawn.

Are your parents strict?
Everyone already knows the answer to this question.

Would you go sky diving?
If I had the money, yes! It'd definitely be on my bucket list though.

Do you like cottage cheese?
One of the few foods I don't like.

Have you ever met a celebrity?
Not really, no. Unless, like I said before, authors and poets are considered celebrities. But I think not.

Do you rent movies often?
Pretty often, yeah. But the library is free.

Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in?
Not that I can see.

How many countries have you visited?
Just Canada. As far as I know. Unless I was actually adopted from Finland or something.

Have you made a prank phone call?
Haha yes.

Ever been on a train?
Yep. Just a couple of times at Steamtown. But I think it would be fun to go on a long journey by train. I've always wanted to have one of those really fancy railroad cars from the Victorian era, with the mahogany paneling and velvet upholstery and all.

Brown or white eggs?
White. But I'm going to buy brown next time and see if they're any different, just because of this survey.

Do you have a cell-phone?
Yes ...

Do you use chap stick?
"Take the chapstick, put it on your lips, crack a smile, adjust my tie ..." ~ Vampire Weekend

Do you own a gun?
I wouldn't know how to use it. Maybe I should learn and see if I can get a pistol license.

Can you use chop sticks?
You're laughing at me. I can tell.

Who are you going to be with tonight?
I don't know.

Are you too forgiving?
Apparently. But I don't think my definition of forgiving is synonymous with everyone else's, and as a rule, I don't actually believe full forgiveness is healthy. Move on, yes. Forgive, no.

Ever been in love?
Believe it or not, yes I have.

What is your best friend doing tomorrow?
I don't know.

Ever have cream puffs?
I don't know.

Last time you cried?
An hour ago watching A Walk to Remember.

What was the last question you asked?
"Why?"

Favorite time of the year?
September

Do you have any tattoos?
Nope.

Are you sarcastic?
No, really?

Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
Not yet.

Ever walked into a wall?
Please, let's not go there. And don't ask me about clotheslines either, or street signs, or metal columns, or line dividers at amusement parks ....

Favorite color?
Green.

Have you ever slapped someone?
Haha yes. But there are many people I wanted to slap and didn't. Maybe I should go back and do it again.

Is your hair curly?
Sometimes. When it's humid outside.

What was the last CD you bought?
Ordinary Riches by Company of Thieves

Do looks matter?
Got to be a little more specific here...

Could you ever forgive a cheater?
Probably not.

Is your phone bill sky high?
No. I have unlimited texting.

Do you like your life right now?
I love my life like it's a sibling.

Do you sleep with the TV on?
I can't.

Can you handle the truth?
Let me get back to you on that ...

Do you have good vision?
I need to get my eyes checked one of these days cause I can't really read road signs any more :( But I keep putting it off ...

Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
I truly hate only one person in this world. Generally I don't dislike anyone.

How often do you talk on the phone?
Every day.

What are you wearing?
My comfy clothes. I don't want to change for work :(

What is your favorite animal?
Horses.

Where was your default picture taken at?
Here.

Do you have a job?
I'm going there from 4:30 to 10:30 tonight. I don't want to think about it...

What was the most recent thing you bought?
Don't remember.

Carol Ann Duffy was just elected as the first female poet laureate ("poetry's most prestigious job") after four hundred years of male domination (I have no idea how she can be the first, but there you go). As part of this job, she will receive a yearly stipend of £5,750, which she plans to donate to a prize for the best poetry collection of the year. She will also receive the "butt of sack" -- the traditional 600 bottles of sherry that each poet laureate is given -- and supposedly she has demanded that she be given hers up front after learning that the last poet laureate, Andrew Motion, has yet to receive his. I thought that was hilarious. She is definitely a character, and I would love to be around to see how she gets along with the Queen and all the other high society she'll have to relate to while she writes about royal events and such. Actually, come to think of it, I can't wait to read what she writes, it should be an interesting take on whatever is going on politically during the next 10 years. If anyone's interested in reading a really good article about her election, go to the one at the Guardian website.

In the meantime, here's why I believe she really deserved this role. I had to read this poem for poetry class last semester and I think it's brilliant:

Mrs Midas

by Carol Ann Duffy

It was late September. I'd just poured a glass of wine, begun
to unwind, while the vegetables cooked. The kitchen
filled with the smell of itself, relaxed, its steamy breath
gently blanching the windows. So I opened one,
then with my fingers wiped the other's glass like a brow.
He was standing under the pear tree snapping a twig.

Now the garden was long and the visibility poor, the way
the dark of the ground seems to drink the light of the sky,
but that twig in his hand was gold. And then he plucked
a pear from a branch - we grew Fondante d'Automne -
and it sat in his palm like a light bulb. On.
I thought to myself, Is he putting fairy lights in the tree?

He came into the house. The doorknobs gleamed.
He drew the blinds. You know the mind; I thought of
the Field of the Cloth of Gold and of Miss Macready.
He sat in that chair like a king on a burnished throne.
The look on his face was strange, wild, vain. I said,
What in the name of God is going on? He started to laugh.

I served up the meal. For starters, corn on the cob.
Within seconds he was spitting out the teeth of the rich.
He toyed with his spoon, then mine, then with the knives, the forks.
He asked where was the wine. I poured with shaking hand,
a fragrent, bone-dry white from Italy, then watched
as he picked up the glass, goblet, golden chalice, drank.

It was then that I started to scream. He sank to his knees.
After we had both calmed down, I finished the wine
on my own, hearing him out. I made him sit
on the other side of the room and keep his hands to himself.
I locked the cat in the cellar. I moved the phone.
The toilet I didn't mind. I couldn't believe my ears:

how he'd had a wish. Look, we all have wishes; granted.
But who has wishes granted? Him. Do you know about gold?
It feeds no one; aurum, soft, untarnishable; slakes
no thirst. He tried to light a cigarette; I gazed, entranced,
as the blue flame played on its luteous stem. At least,
I said, you'll be able to give up smoking for good.

Seperate beds. In fact, I put a chair against my door,
near petrified. He was below, turning the spare room
into the tomb of Tutankhamun. You see, we were passionate then,
in those halcyon days; unwrapping each other, rapidly,
like presents, fast food. But now I feared his honeyed embrace,
the kiss that would turn my lips to a work of art.

And who, when it comes to the crunch, can live
with a heart of gold? That night, I dreamt I bore
his child, its perfect ore limbs, its little tongue
like a precious latch, its amber eyes
holding their pupils like flies. My dream-milk
burned in my breasts. I woke to the streaming sun.

So he had to move out. We'd a caravan
in the wilds, in a glade of its own. I drove him up
under cover of dark. He sat in the back.
And then I came home, the women who married the fool
who wished for gold. At first I visited, odd times,
parking the car a good way off, then walking.

You knew you were getting close. Golden trout
on the grass. One day, a hare hung from a larch,
a beautiful lemon mistake. And then his footprints,
glistening next to the river's path. He was thin,
delirious; hearing, he said, the music of Pan
from the woods. Listen. That was the last straw.

What gets me now is not the idiocy or greed
but lack of thought for me. Pure selfishness. I sold
the contents of the house and came down here.
I think of him in certain lights, dawn, late afternoon,
and once a bowl of apples stopped me dead. I miss most,
even now, his hands, his warm hands on my skin, his touch.